kick_ass_curls | Business as Usual

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Business as Usual - for steverogers_cpt

They say it takes the average woman half the time of a relationship to get over a break up.

It took Natasha Romanoff seven and a half hours, a bottle of Stoli, and half the ammunition she had in her personal collection to 'get over' Steve Rogers. Or, that's what she told herself happened. In truth every second she was apart from Steve made it worse, made her worse. She was angry, violent, close to becoming unhinged. It would have been scary of she hadn't spent much of her life in a very dark place before. It wasn't anything new. He'd be better off without her, and she'd live.

She always lived.

Everyone at SHIELD knew by the time she came to work the next day that she and Steve were over. There was chatter of a betting pool. Natasha considered breaking the wrist of the man holding the wad of bills. Instead she walked by, head held up like nothing was bothering her, her expression so cold and emotionless it was terrifying. She'd got mission orders. She was a SHIELD agent, damn it and a failed relationship wasn't going to stop her from doing her job.

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"I'll be fine." He told her before glancing around. "Just keep looking at me."

"Didn't think... you'd want me looking at you again after...I..." Tasha stops, swallowing back tears that threaten. Is this really the way she's going to go out? Torn to hell by a...zombie and whimpering like a child.

Maybe...she doesn't know so she has to say something. She has to say everything in case she never has the chance to again.

"Steve, I..." Tasha pulls on every ounce of strength she has left to reach her hand up to his face. "I never wanted to hurt you, not ever. All...all I wanted was for you to be happy, and I...couldn't." Her eyes close again, the ability to speak getting harder and harder. "I'm so sorry, baby. I...I...I'm so sorry made everything worse for you by... being...me."

Steve closed his eyes as she touched his face, instinctively leaning into her hand. "Tasha..." He murmured quietly. "It... it wasn't your fault. Zola made that duplicate too identical to me. No one could have known...." He replied, opening his eyes to look into hers. "You make it better by being you...."

Edited 2012-09-13 19:15 (UTC)

By the time he gets to the last words she's already passed out. There's too much blood loss for her body to let her do anything but hang on and stay alive. She heard him though, most of what he said and it made her hate herself just a little bit less. That was something. More than something. It really meant everything to her that he didn't hate her for the mistakes she'd made.

Edited 2012-09-13 19:22 (UTC)

Steve looked up as the extraction helicopter appeared over head.

"Come on Tasha, please.... i'm not losing you today too...."

There's a team of paramedics that jump from the helicopter, complete with a stretcher and portable life support machines, blood and everything else they'll need to get her out of here. "We're going to need you to move, Cap." A paramedic rests his hand on Steve's shoulder to get his attention. "We don't have a lot of time from the look of that wound."

Steve looked at them, not wanting to move but knowing he had to. He nodded before moving and letting the paramedics do their job.

They moved quickly, getting her strapped down an airlifted. Even though the news of the... unpleasantness had traveled though SHIELD. One of the paramedics looked back to Steve, frowning. "Are you coming with?"

They wouldn't have been able to stop him from coming with them, so he nodded silently.

Soon enough they have Natasha back at medical, rushed to surgery. It's not looking good. There's muscle and nerve damage on much of her body, as well as the blood loss. They're worried about her spine. They're doing everything they can to make sure she makes it but even if she does it may not be much of a life. They won't be sure until she's out of surgery. If she survives surgery.

Phil used to be Natasha's medical contact, because she had no family. Now, there was only one other person she'd have trusted enough to make a choice like if they should let her live or die.

The doctor approaches Steve slowly, holding out the paperwork Natasha had submitted several weeks before. "You're her..." This is never easy to tell someone. "Here." He holds the papers out to Steve.

Steve had been waiting when the Doctor approached and he frowned as he handed him the papers. Looking at them, the realisation hit him and his lips parted as he looked up. He didn't even want to think about the possibility o having to decide to let her die, but he knew it was a possibility. The thought made him waver and he closed his eyes, tilting his head down. His eyes starting to fill with tears for a moment.

The doctor calmly explained all the options, what the possible outcomes would be, anywhere from something as positive as her having a lifetime of lower back pain to the opposite end of the spectrum. "Her vitals are holding, it was touch and go for a while. We almost lost her twice.There's going to be a few more hours of surgery. Things can go wrong during surgery." The doctor says plainly. "We need to know at what point we should stop trying to revive her."

Steve screwed his eyes up, his head still tilted down as a tear fell dow his cheek. He then looked away from the Doctor as he tried to process it all. He couldn't lose her... He didn't think he'd survive with out her. She was the one thing in the world that he had now.

"When... when she w-wouldn't be her if sh-she lived... if she..." He closed his eyes again, drawing in a deep breath. "... If she would be stuck inside her body..... She wouldn't want that...."

The doctor had sadly become very used to understanding what people meant by they. "The primary concern if she pulls though is her memories. There could be gaps from the lack of oxygen reaching her brain. Perhaps a few hand eye ordination issue. If our scanners show she'll be... nonfunctional, we'll let her go."

Steves brow furrowed as he looked at the Doctor. "Gaps? In her memory...?"

"Her recent memories will be more at risk than older ones. That's the way the brain works." The doctor explains. He offers Steve a reassuring smile. "She's got a remarkable mind, Captain Rogers. The woman learned how to speak Latin. She might be just fine. If anyone could...it's her."

Steve nodded, closing his eyes again.

The doctor gave Steve a reassuring pat on the arm before returning to his post. Hours passed and soon Natasha was transferred to recovery. A different doctor came to find Steve then to inform him that Natasha's vitals were strong and there was no detectable lose of motor function or spinal damage. This was all very good news. Her body would recover completely in a few years.

The only concern now was her mind, and her memories. They wouldn't know for sure what was going on with those factors until they brought her back to consciousness.

Steve had been sat on the floor against a wall since the Doctor left. When the other one returned, he stood up quickly and listened. He let out a long breath when she said she would completely recover physically at some point.

"Can I see her?"

"She's not conscious yet." The doctor points out. "We'd like to keep her heavily sedated for at least another 18 hours." He looks at Steve worriedly. "You don't need to be here, Captain. You could go home and get some rest."

"I'm not leaving." Steve replied.

The doctor simply nodded, stepping aside. He wasn't sure Steve would like seeing here like this, with all the machines helping to keep her stable and sedated. He gave Steve the number of Tasha's room and pointed int he right direction.

Steve nodded to the Doctor before making his way to Natashas room. He hesitated outside for a few minutes before opening the door and entering. When he saw her hooked up to all the machines, Steve stilled. His face falling. He made it to the chair beside her bed, sitting down before his eyes welled up and everything came to the surface at once as the tears started to fall.

Even though he wasn't allowed in the recovery room, Clint Barton was soon standing in the door of Tasha's suite. They gave the higher level agents the real rooms. It was only fair.

"How's she doing?" Clint asked, the usual roughness of his voice somehow much softer now.

Hearing Clints voice behind him, Steve sniffed slightly. "Stable. They're leaving her unconscious for now." He replied, his voice betraying the fact that he had been & still was crying.

Business as Usual - for steverogers_cpt

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