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I'm not getting out of bed. (LJ) (DW)

No

I'm not the desperate type.

( BIRTHDAY GIF SPAM! )

It's my 'birthday'

...need a drink.

Let me go shoot this prick.

I know, I know.

I have over 70 tags to address across all my journals.

I made promises to get back into games I took summer breaks from when my work schedule mellowed out in September.

I have mod tasks I'm slacking on.

All that other shit.

Simply put, I can't. Not right now. There will still be lag, and there will still be times I'm not around online for days at a time. I won't get into it but it simply can not be helped. Sometimes I don't even have to option to turn my laptop on.

For those of you who will love me still and want to play with me after all this, thank you. For those of you who can't deal with my lag, I get it, and I'm sorry. I did the best I could, but expecting you to wait for me is selfish.

I'll make the effort once again on Wednesday to kill some of those old tags and get my RP shit together, but right now my life has to be taken minute by minute and I can't make any promises.

See you when I see you. <3

Part of her wished that Steve hadn't changed out of his uniform. It would have been something distracting for her to gently tease him about while they waited at SHIELD medical for Natasha's appointment. The entire staff was more busy than Tasha could ever remember seeing. She didn't want to think about why, it only made her feel guilty, but the fact that one of SHIELD's assassins was down and the leader of the Avengers quit? The lower level SHIELD agents were getting hurt a lot more often because they were in situations they weren't ready for.

Tasha didn't say a word to Steve about it, though. In fact she was doing everything she promised herself she wouldn't do now that she'd gotten her second chance with him. She was still protecting him, still treating him like a crystal figurine instead of six feet of solid muscles. It was starting to grate on her, though, the fear that Steve would never start acting like himself again. This...it wasn't him. It wasn't the man she risked her life to save so many times, it wasn't the guy she fell in love with, even though a lot of those memories were still patchy at best.

Natasha let out another bored sigh, fidgeting in her chair. "Maybe you should go down to the gym until they're caught up enough to deal with my stitches here." She suggested casually, trying to push him back to his normal routine again. "I can wait by myself." She didn't want to, but she did a very good job at hiding it.

Current Mood: cranky

What had happened at dinner was still bothering Natasha in subtle ways. She knew Bruce was a cautious man, hiding behind all that sarcasm and joking nature. She too was extremely guarded, never letting anyone close for fear she'd damage them, they would damage her, or both. The two of them together? That was asking for trouble.

Yet here she stood, waiting for him to take her to the ballet of all places. Natasha couldn't deny the fact he'd actually agreed shocked her. What shocked her more was that she'd suggested it. The dancing, that part of her questionable history, really was something she didn't hate about herself. It made her feel like something worthwhile and beautiful came from such a shattered and bloody past. Still she knew being this close to it again would make her uncomfortable. Which in turn could make Bruce uncomfortable, which could...

Oh, she didn't want to think about it. Natasha couldn't think about it. The whole reason she was dealing with setting up the date was to keep Bruce as relaxed and calm as possible.

She plastered on a smile and leaned against the limo, wondering how Dr. Bruce Banner would look in a suit. Just the thought of it made her smile a little more real.

Current Mood: nervous

Level 7 doesn't mean 'boob access'.

*SWS
*SSWS

They say it takes the average woman half the time of a relationship to get over a break up.

It took Natasha Romanoff seven and a half hours, a bottle of Stoli, and half the ammunition she had in her personal collection to 'get over' Steve Rogers. Or, that's what she told herself happened. In truth every second she was apart from Steve made it worse, made her worse. She was angry, violent, close to becoming unhinged. It would have been scary of she hadn't spent much of her life in a very dark place before. It wasn't anything new. He'd be better off without her, and she'd live.

She always lived.

Everyone at SHIELD knew by the time she came to work the next day that she and Steve were over. There was chatter of a betting pool. Natasha considered breaking the wrist of the man holding the wad of bills. Instead she walked by, head held up like nothing was bothering her, her expression so cold and emotionless it was terrifying. She'd got mission orders. She was a SHIELD agent, damn it and a failed relationship wasn't going to stop her from doing her job.

Hey, look who has more than one day off this week?

I know, I know. I have over 200 notifs and tags in my RP gmail inbox. I hadn't even opened it for four or five days. I KNOW. *sighs* I won't get into why I've been gone from LJ or why my brain can't do much more than little baby replies, but I got the mojo back last night and I've set aside the morning to address those backtags plots.

Thank you ALL for being patient with me. It means the world. If there's anything I missed in the shuffle, PM me or poke me on AIM. <3

LOVE YOU ALL!

-N

"I don't remember my birthday. Ever."

The past year or so has been REALLY screwed up on the RL front, lots of you know that. If you didn't? Well you know now.

All the...everything kinda came to a head yesterday afternoon. I'm relieved, happy and terrified at the same time. It's left me in a strange sort of mental state. One second I'm fine, the next I'm crying, the next I'm giggling in happiness, the next I'm like a magpie with a shiny object and zoned out. It's fucked up and exhausting, but there it is.

Anyway, Long story short, I'm laggy, I'm scattered and I'm sorry if I leave anyone hanging or get intently focused on one thing while things settle. Stuff I owe is bookmarked/loggedand I'll get on it when my minds in a more stable place. Promise.

It was her worst nightmare. The very reason Natasha had tried to do this 'mission' in Russia on her own. Her past left her with too many enemies, too many people who wanted her dead, and worse the people she'd grown to care about dead, too. Nothing terrified the Black Widow more than the thought of losing the family she'd built.

But Clint has insisted on coming with her in spite of her attempts to stop him, and now...

Damn it, there was so much blood. So much of Clint's...blood.

Natasha used the last of her strength to drag Clint to safety. She fumbled to find his phone, knowing full well there was only one person who could get them out of this alive. "Please don't hate me for this." She muttered in hushed Russian, almost like a prayer, before pressing the autodial that would call Phil's number.

You think I'm bitchy?

How shocking.

Unless you have my express permission otherwise, you DO NOT get to 'God Mod' my character.

Don't move her. I can handle that just fine, thanks.
Don't tell me what her past is. I choose what canon points to use, not you.
Don't tell me what she's feeling. You're not in her heart.
Don't tell me what she's thinking. You're not in her head.
Don't make her do things.
Don't fucking shoot her.
Don't fucking kill her.

(Steve said it best),
SON, JUST DON'T!

You pull this shit on me, I will not feel bad about dropping the thread.

Got a question? Unclear on something? Ask. That's what PMs and OOC communication is for.

Character: Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, Clint Barton/Hawkeye/Aaron Cross, Dr. Marta Shearing
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe/The Bourne Legacy Crossover
Setting: Pre Avengers Movie/ Ending of The Bourne Legacy (AKA SPOILERS!)
Rating/Warnings: Violence.
Word Count: 475
Prompt: None, but I blame Loki for this. Also I blame

outcomefive for the new verse enabling.
Author’s Notes: Because it had to be written. Assuming Barton has been implanted into Operation Outcome and Natasha has been following him the whole time. Huge mega AU things going on here, of course. Also it should be noted I have NOT seen the other Bourne flicks, so I’m making shit up.
Spoilers: The Bourne Legacy ending spoilers. Sorta.

( Do you know what it’s like to be unmade? )

How's my driving?

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Natasha Romanoff [MCU]

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Natasha Romanoff

Killing people is easy. Making them suffer is an art.

Recent Entries

Bio, Verse & PSL List (WIP FOREVER!)

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So I hear it's your mun's birthday, <user site="livejournal.com" user="world_made_free" title ="Fuck

Bruce sums up my feelings about a lot of things right now.

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OOC: Slow-atus

More Than Skin Deep - for steverogers_cpt

Paradise - for angryinsecret

Boob Access - SWS & SSWS

Business as Usual - for steverogers_cpt

OOC: BONUS DAY OFF! :D

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OOC: State of the Mun Update.

Mistakes & Crimes - locked to capfanboy and <user site="livejo

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OOC: Guess it needs to be said AGAIN.

Project Outcome - Avengers/Bourne Legacy Ficlet/PSL Intro

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May 2025

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