kick_ass_curls | What matters is on the inside - Locked to <user site="livejournal.com" user="steverogers

Tasha knew it was reckless, dangerous and stupid, but she marched down to Fury's office after he talk with Steve and layed it on the line. Not all of it of course, but the Director wasn't blind with that one eye of his. He could tell Agent Romanoff was taking far more than simply a professional interest in Steve Rogers. Wisely, he didn't call her on it.

After hours, she finally had the clearance, the team of lower level agents to help them, the files on how Erskine had done it and a hell of a lot of motivation to get the man she...whatever it was she was feeling for Steve, back to being the first Avenger.

Now all she had to do was convince Steve he could stop hiding and come with. You can't make Captain America if you don't have the key ingredient.

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Tasha had a feeling Steve was going to protest to this idea the moment she said anything. Really she wouldn't have blamed him. He wasn't what he was used to being but Natasha knew that shouldn't change anything.

She also knew things aren't always how they should be.

"Hey." She tapped the edge of the door frame before she stepped inside. Tasha was in her full uniform, complete with all the weapons and gear she used. She had a bag in her hand. "I got a plane, and clearance and a team." She moved closer to Steve, dropping the bag next to him. "Now all i need is you."

Steve looked up, frowning when he saw her in full gear. The frown deepened when she spoke.

"What for?" he asked, shifting on the bed as he coughed.

Tasha's brought equipment and weapons for him, too. She's busy loading, inspecting and reinspecting the equipment as she speaks. "Because you're an integral part of the equation, Steve." Natasha replies, very business like. "I can't do this without you."

"Can't do what?" He replied, still not sure what she was on about. Hoping that she wasn't meaning for him to leave the room, although he knew that was more than likely involved.

"I'm going to find someone who can replicate the serum that changed you." Tasha swallows hard, her words professional but her body language clearly shows she's nervous and afraid, too. "So, you should probably come with."

Steve could see how nervous she was. But he still didn't want to go outside the roomm. "Natasha, I..."

"I know." She steps closer to him, thinking she understands his hesitation. Tasha reaches her hand out to his face. "I'll protect you, I won't let you out of my sight, I promise."

His brow furrowed, pulling back slightly. "You'll protect me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

OK. OK. He's upset. She can let that slide. "Yes." Natasha says coolly. She's all business again. She's not enjoying it. "I will make sure nothing happens to you until such time as we replicated the genetic alterations that made you into...Captain America."

Steve sat up slightly as his eyes looked around the room. "You want me to leave this room and go.... somewhere to find something that we probably don't know is even possible?"

"Yes, I do." Natasha says very simply.

"If people see me outside this room as no longer being Captain America, their image of what they hold dear is going to be shattered. They'll see that... icon of theirs the same again. I can't leave this room...|

Natasha closes her eyes. She understands his fear of being viewed differently, and his motivations aren't selfish. She can't help thinking of how Phil would have reacted to this happening. Well, he wouldn't have reacted at all. Internally, though?

She swallows, looking at the floor. Tasha's gone overly distant with him again and it takes a moment for her to work up her courage to be completely honest.

"Don't you think that coming out and fighting for what you are when you're like this isn't going to do that." She knows it wouldn't for her. And she's on of the ones that...matters, right? Tasha smiles, real pride in her voice. "Cap's not about muscles or how tall you are or even the shield." She look him right in the eyes. "He's about you, Steve. About you being brave enough and good enough to make someone notice you were worth giving that power to."

She's not blowing smoke. She means every damn word of it. "Please help me get that back for you."

Steve watched her, listening to her words and able to tell that she meant every word of it. After a moment, he looked away. Breathing in deeply as he wondered about what he was to do.

"You really think people'll still think of me in a good way if they see me like this?" He asked, starting to understand where she was coming from.

[ooc: must... add.... lots... of... new... icons..... *saves them all to laptop* Wont have enough space! Argh! lol]

"Who cares if they do?" She asks, her voice nearly harsh. Natasha sits down next to him, shaking her head. "I have read your file, I know what kind of man you are." Are...not were. "You never gave up, you never let anything keep you from trying to be the best man you could be."

She looks away then, full of a real fear that she won't be able to convince him this is worth doing. "Are you still that man or aren't you?"

((OOC: Heeee. I hope you have enough space now. Also, I should not reply before coffee, holy typoes XD ))

Steve looked down for a brief moment before breathing in deeply and looking back up at her. He breathed in deeply at the almost harshness in her voice, but tried not to let it show that it affected him.

"I'm still him."

She doesn't hug him, or kiss him or anything before she stands up. "Then suit up and let's go."

Steve watched her as she stood, feeling it a little that she didn't even smile or give him a hug. He rubbed his brow before standing. "Pretty sure I can't suit up when i'm too small for it."

She can't let herself get emotional on this. Emotions make you sloppy, leaving you and your teammates in a position of having exploitable weaknesses. She can't afford that and neither can Steve. At least that's what she's telling herself. What Natasha really wants to do is hold him and tell him they'll fix this no matter what it takes but...no.

Steve has a way of changing into a powerful, fearless leader that anyone will follow into battle when he picks up that shield and puts on that suit. Now...he can't. So she thinks has to be that person.

"There's standard SHIELD field gear in the bag, and weapons." Tasha says matter-of-factly. "The shield and the suit are in the plane. You'll need them later."

Steve nodded, picking up the bag and looking inside. He bit his lip momentarily when he pulled out the gun and put it on thebed, not liking the idea of holding it, let alone using it. Looking up at her, Steve stepped closer to her. "You okay?"

She knows he can use a gun, that's why it's in the bag. Tasha is silent, simply waiting until he asked that question. "I'm fine." She lies, in the type of voice that gives that fact away.

"No, you're not..." He replied, looking her in the eye. "Natasha..."

"I said I'm fine." She turns away from him the second she feels her voice start to break. He's not being the brave one right now so she has to be. She has no choice.

"You can talk to me, i'm..." He paused for a moment, letting a long breath before finishing. "... i'm still me."

"But you're not..." Tasha's voice finally breaks with sadness as she hugs him suddenly. It's not the same feeling as it was before and she doesn't like it. No matter how much he's still Steve, he's not Captain America anymore. He's not complete.

"We have to get you back." Natasha whimpers, hiding her face against him. "All of you."